So I came upon with this one video of BuzzFeed Violet titled “The Scariest Part of Being Single” and suddenly an outburst of thoughts made me think of different things that I want to tell everyone. So I decided to write this article. And God forbid, I’m going to curse a lot here (please forgive me).
Nowadays (yes, every motherfuckin’ day), people around me have been very vigilant about my current relationship status – which is NONE, btw! And tbh, it’s freaking me out. I don’t know what came upon their heads that they started minding my singularity. It’s seems like it’s the end of the world for me that everyone thinks I should find someone and make out. What the hell? Do I really look so hopeless to them? Heaving the deepest sigh
Going back to that video of BuzzFeed (which is the catalyst of this article), I just can’t fathom why they particularly make being single look like you’re going to die when you don’t have someone beside you if you happen to choke from too much pigging out. (That’s a very long sentence. Sorry for making you breathless). Like seriously? I don’t need someone to save me. I can do that on my own, for God’s sake!
Honestly, it’s not the first time I came upon with these kinds of content. Every time I log on to Facebook, articles on being alone (yes, to them being single means you’re ALONE) always had their ways to present themselves to me. It’s like some kind of sorcery. Everything about articles with topics on being “single” are listed down on my Facebook wall. HUHU. I don’t know how to handle it anymore. So I list down the “scariest part of being single” for me (because I believe that when you acknowledge your shits, they will go away). Here are those:
- Your friends will ship you with every-fucking-one
Just like what I said, people around me think it is their sole job to find my mate. I don’t know if they’re being kind or just making fun of me or whatever, but I seriously know it’s exhausting. Hello, I’m not so hopeless. I didn’t stay single because there’s no one to choose. I stayed single because I have other priorities like building my mom a huge house where she can live like a queen.
Don’t get this wrong. I don’t hate my friends for trying to make things fun for me. I just don’t see being with someone right now can make me happy. Well not entirely because I admit, sometimes I think of myself in the presence of someone that I love other than my friends and family. It’s just not the right time for me.
- People think you’re being choosy
Because you don’t have someone beside you right now, your family and friends are thinking that you’ve set too much high standard for the guy that you want to be with. Well yes, I did consider that my future special someone should look good, smart, tall, kind, and physically fit. But that’s not exactly why I want it. I just want my future kids to have something that they can feel good about (because I don’t have that kind of luxury). HAHA.
But if I’m going to consider everything, those attributes are not so important because when you get old, all of those will be gone, except being smart and kind. Maybe I’ll consider the following: a). someone with great sense of humor, b). someone who will respect me, c). some who will love me so much whoever and whatever I am, d). someone who can love my family whoever they are, e). someone who can provide for our future family, and lastly, f). someone who can respect my beliefs whatever our religion is.
P.S: Since I remember that I really want to have twin kids (thanks to entry #3), I decided that my future husband should have twins in their clan so there would a probability of twin children in our future family. (This is not optional. HAHAHA)
- People think you’re going to be an old maid (God forbid)
Considering #2, next to that is this: you’ll be an old maid. OH. MY. GOD. NOOOOOO! I want to have kids (especially twins). Some people think that when you reach your twenties and you still don’t have a boyfriend, your future will be in grave danger.
Because no one is taking you, no one will ever will. And that, my friend, is bullshit. I’m only 22 and yet Anne Curtis is already 31 years old and not married. See that? When even one of the prettiest people in the country decided not to marry considering she’s in the right age and with the right guy, how can be your life be in grave danger? That does not make sense. That’s shit.
I’m going to marry someone at the right time, right place, right INCOME! I will never be an old maid. So mother, please stop thinking that I’m going to be like my aunties!
- Everyone will ask you, “Why are you still SINGLE?”
Damn! Every time I hear that question from my friends, family, neighbors, officemates, and even from strangers, I want to wear a sign board stating this: I’M SINGLE BECAUSE NOBODY DESERVES ME! (Confidence level: 24K). HAHA. Seriously, I’m sick and tired.
But tbh, they’re not just the ones who always ask that question. I also ask myself. Well yes, I admit I can’t deliberately eradicate the thought of having someone beside me when I’m around couples. It also comes in my mind. Like how does being with some I can freely talk to feel? How does kissing my love feel? How does hugging someone you love feel?
See? I don’t need someone to ask me those questions because I can do it myself. It’s just that I choose to ask myself about some things that are more important like, how can I help my mother in paying our car loan, insurance, electricity, water bills, etc, etc, etc.
- People think you’re some kind of a charity case
This is the same as #1; your friends can find a way to ship you with everyone, literally everyone, even with their boyfriends. UGH! THIS IS SOOOO AWKWARD! Some of my close friends and other acquaintances think that it’s fun to ship me with their boyfriends. For crying out loud, I’m not so desperate that I would even consider your boyfriends. What do you even think of me? Seriously?
Every time they do this to me, I’m literally screaming in my head. I’m freaking out. Not just because it’s awkward but it’s also kind of insane to even think about. WHY? HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT?
Most of the time, they actually do these stuff in front of their boyfriends. I really feel shit about this charity case thing because I feel like my friends are making fun of me. My girlfriends are beautiful and I’m guessing their boyfriends love them for that matter (I’m not judging). And when they do this charity shit to me, I feel like I’m being unintentionally judged. I’m not pretty, so why would they even bother to consider me, right? I know you think I’m overacting and I’ll be honest, I don’t know either. Those are just jokes according to my friends but to me, it seems beyond that. I just want them to stop. (Respeto naman, mga teh!)
Side note: I’m also irritated with my girlfriends when they ship me with our guy friends. This is an issue because I don’t feel anything for my guy friends aside from my brotherly love for them. I’m sure of that. But when my girlfriends do this to me most of the time, I feel like I’m trapped. I don’t wanna be an asshole to my guy friends. They’re my brothers. I just can’t see myself having an intimate affair with my brothers. That’s kind of incest. I. JUST. DON’T. SEE. IT.
- People think you’re hopeless when you are alone (whuttt)
When you are alone eating in a restaurant or watching a movie in a cinema, people tend to think that you’re sad. I don’t know why that is. Sometimes when I eat alone in a fast food chain, I always catch some strangers looking at me like I’m some kind of a lost child. It’s like they’re asking me if I have someone with me which is obviously insane considering that I only have one plate, one glass, and one pair of fork and spoon. WTF? HAHA
So what I do when people do that is I stare back at them and silently telling them, “Masaya ako.” (I’m happy).
Yes, I admit being single is sad when all your friends are happy with their love ones. Sometimes I ask myself how will it be if I have someone with me, too. But that’s the thing; I only ask myself that question because I’m around happy couples. But when I’m alone, my entire focus is on the book that I’m reading or into sleeping.
It’s just a matter of perspective. When you can be happy being alone inside your room binge watching TV series or reading books or just sleeping, then you still don’t need to be with someone. You can make the most of your singularity. You can go everywhere and your time will be solely yours.
P.S: This is not an excuse about being single. I know you may think otherwise, but it’s true. We have different perspective. You might have different opinions or the same as mine. But even so, respect is what we all need.